Once Upon A Time in Wonderland 01×03: Pretty Much What We Knew Already

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland is throwing backstory at us like it’s beads at Mardi Gras but unfortunately, none of it is making these characters any more interesting.

The episode starts with a flashback to the Knave’s past, revealing that he used to live in the Once Upon a Time world and his original name was “Will Scarlet.” Some quick googling reveals his place in the canon.

Witches of East End 1×03: Bad, Bad Baldy

We finally learn some magic this episode!

Mixing it up a bit, this episode begins with a dream sequence. However, it takes a solid three or four minutes for anyone in the audience to actually realize it’s a dream since it seems more like a series of disjointed scenes of the witches four. Freya wakes up next to her fiancee, goes to get a glass of water, and ends up sexing up Killian. Ingrid and Wendy read some tarot cards on the kitchen table, discover Ingrid is going to die, and Ingrid watches her hands turn white for what was really an unnecessarily long time. Finally, Joanna has a lot of intense staring with her shifter. But then they all wake up!

OUAT in Wonderland 01×02: Angst, Exposition, and True Love(tm)

This week on Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, Alice is way more boring than she was in the premiere, the Knave gets hints of a tragic backstory, and Jafar would probably get along really well with Darth Vader.

Dude loves to stand within arm’s reach and choke people with his mind.

To begin, the Knave is awakened to find Alice sword fighting a tree. Not a magical, sentient, evil tree, either. Just a regular, old tree. Turns out, she’s getting in some practice since she’s “rusty.” Apparently she put her thinking cap on during this practice too, because she has the brilliant idea of finding Cyrus’s bottle, having the Knave rub it, and therefore summoning Cyrus back from wherever he is.

Witches of East End Episode 1×02: In Which Ingrid & Wendy Establish Themselves as Team Awesome

We open this episode right where the previous one left off: all of the witches are having some serious issues. Ingrid found out she is a witchy woman, Freya is trapped in a painting, Joanna is in custody for a murder the shifter who looks like her committed, and Wendy is dead. We feel Wendy got the short end of this deal.

But never fear! Ingrid pretty easily locates her mother’s secret stash of magic stuff, and the magic chest opens when Ingrid says “open.” She appears to be as surprised by this ease of entry as we are. However, it is all good because in the chest is the family grimoire, in which there is a resurrection spell that Ingrid promptly uses to resurrect her aunt Wendy. We’re pretty happy with this development given that we are also Wendy fans.

Oh, and Aunt Wendy is a cat when dead. Because of course.

OUAT in Wonderland Premiere: Never Trust a Talking Animal

Tonight we went down the rabbit hole to Wonderland, a land of true wuv, evil queens, and really bad special effects.

We start the episode with a man in a leather jacket walking down the middle of the street and getting honked at by cars. As he goes into a shop, he bumps into some characters from the original Once Upon a Time. Once that fan-service is achieved, a rabbit comes out of  portal in the floor and tells the man “Come with me if you want to live.”

Like this, but with bunny ears.