Sharknado Defies Logic and Science in Its Pursuit of Camp

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Sharknado is one of the few SyFy original movies that actually became a cult phenomenon (SyFy’s motto is: if at first you don’t succeed, try try again) so when we saw it on Amazon Prime, we had to watch it as connoisseurs of silly SyFy movies. Overall, it was super campy movie that we both thoroughly enjoyed watching for its sheer hilarity.

The movie follows a bar owner, his two friends, estranged wife, son, and daughter as they try to survive first a typhoon and then three tornados that have thrown a mess of sharks into the air and in every available space on the land. There are sharks in the street, sharks in the sewers, sharks flying through roofs, and sharks in people’s houses. Eventually, the only way to save everyone in California is to throw bombs into the tornado, which will make them dissipate because of the warm air…or something.

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The Switch: Just Another Friend Zone Movie

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SummaryAn uptight man stuck in the “friend zone” switches another man’s semen for his own when his “friend” decides to get pregnant via artificial insemination. Upon meeting his child, the man becomes less uptight, his “friend” finally falls in love with him, and they live happily ever after despite his huge violation of her trust.

VerdictIn the friend zone. There were some cute moments between the main guy and the kid, but there was too much crap about how awful it is to be in the friend zone. Also, the big plot point (the semen switch) was a major violation played off as something the main female could just get over through the power of love. She’s also an annoying character, so there’s that, too.

Full RecapThe Switch begins by introducing Michael Bluth in the lead role as Wally, who is basically the same character but with hypochondria. Seriously, Wally even has daddy issues like Michael Bluth.

Wally is narrating images of happy couples and depressed single people (like there’s any other type of single person, amirite?) with advice about love not being like a pop song and how sometimes it happens in a completely unexpected way.

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We’ll just leave this here.

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Cosmo November 2013: Ex Management

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Article: Ex Management

Author: Jessica Knoll

Summary: As expected from the title, this gem offers advice on how to deal with a variety of what are evidently stereotypical exes. The degree of horrible to which Cosmo’s advice descends is pretty dependent on the stereotype they choose to talk about, but it’s all pretty bad. Of note is the fact that Cosmo enjoys engaging in some totally healthy self-blame and simultaneously caveman-ifying the men by focusing on six ex stereotypes.

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Cosmo November 2013: Love & Sex Advice

This week magazine Monday comes with two articles, but both are all about Cosmo’s amazing advice regarding love and sex. Having in the past offered such great advice as “spice up your sex life by having sex in a small boat” (capsizing anyone?), we were ready for Cosmo to be particularly entertaining in this area. And we weren’t disappointed.

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We are READY for this.

Have Make-Up Sex Without the Fight

Author: Tracy Clark-Flory

Here, we have an article devoted entirely to advice on how to recreate what is evidently the unparalleled passion of make-up sex without the actual fighting part. Now, make-up sex can be pretty damn good and all, but I’m thinking it’s not the be all and end all of sexual escapades. Nevertheless, apparently it’s still deserving of some powerfully stupid suggestions.

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Cosmo’s sex and love advice makes about as much sense as this non-sequitor.

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How to Fail at Picking Up Girls (with Personal Anecdotes!)

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As you might have been able to tell from our blog, we are female. As females, we occasionally have guys try pick up lines on us. Sadly, the vast majority of pick up lines are either delivered at inappropriate times or in an inappropriate way, which leads us to believe that a guide to picking up ladies, written by ladies, might be helpful. To spice this up a bit, we’re also including some actual anecdotes from our own experiences as examples of what NOT to do.

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Magazine Monday Preview: Cosmo November 2013

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Who puts shoes on before pants? That is completely counterintuitive. Cosmo pg. 160, Photographed by Christophe Kutner, Annotations in red by R.

Magazine Monday won’t officially start until next Monday, October 28, but we thought we’d do a bit of a preview to make up for the lack of substantive posts so far this week. So, without further ado, here is a recap of Cosmo’s lovely article named “Man-thro-pol-o-gy.”

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13 Going On 30 Presents the Most Confident Awkward Pre-Teen Ever

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SummaryIn  13 Going on 30, Jennifer Garner stars as a 13 year old girl who makes a wish to become 30 and discovers that her true love was right in front of her all along. We discover that the sparkly “Wish Powder” that came at the bottom of cracker jack boxes had ACTUAL magic in the 80s! Damn you child safety laws.

VerdictMeh. It’s not nearly as bad as some other romcoms, but it’s hurt by the wedding day love confession plus the unrealistic portrayal of an insecure 13 year old succeeding in a thoroughly adult world.

Full Recap: Our movie opens with 13 year old Jenna. We immediately see that she is insecure, a little awkward, and desperate to be in the “popular crowd.” Her opportunity comes when she throws a birthday party and invites the most popular girls in school.

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OUAT in Wonderland 01×02: Angst, Exposition, and True Love(tm)

This week on Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, Alice is way more boring than she was in the premiere, the Knave gets hints of a tragic backstory, and Jafar would probably get along really well with Darth Vader.

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Dude loves to stand within arm’s reach and choke people with his mind.

To begin, the Knave is awakened to find Alice sword fighting a tree. Not a magical, sentient, evil tree, either. Just a regular, old tree. Turns out, she’s getting in some practice since she’s “rusty.” Apparently she put her thinking cap on during this practice too, because she has the brilliant idea of finding Cyrus’s bottle, having the Knave rub it, and therefore summoning Cyrus back from wherever he is.

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How to Fail at Halloween Costumes

It’s October, and we all know that means Halloween, which is one of the greatest holidays of all. You can show off your creativity and be rewarded with candy! It’s also not sappy and sentimental like those other holidays. Halloween exists to scare you.

This is the spirit of Halloween

This is the spirit of Halloween

But sometimes it scares you for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes Halloween is scary because of the people who fail at it. Below is a compilation Halloween costumes that are actually for sale and make us afraid in the “lose faith in humanity” kind of way.

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The Romantic Comedy Challenge

We don’t like romantic comedies as a rule. There are some that are less objectionable than others, but for the most part they’re all pretty awful. Nevertheless, we really enjoy writing about them. So, in the interest of having more material for you, our readers, and giving as many romantic comedies as possible a chance at impressing us, we have composed a list of romantic comedies for us to watch and review. As we finish our reviews, we’ll post the link here as well.

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