How to Fail at Picking Up Girls (with Personal Anecdotes!)


As you might have been able to tell from our blog, we are female. As females, we occasionally have guys try pick up lines on us. Sadly, the vast majority of pick up lines are either delivered at inappropriate times or in an inappropriate way, which leads us to believe that a guide to picking up ladies, written by ladies, might be helpful. To spice this up a bit, we’re also including some actual anecdotes from our own experiences as examples of what NOT to do.

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How to Fail at Halloween Costumes

It’s October, and we all know that means Halloween, which is one of the greatest holidays of all. You can show off your creativity and be rewarded with candy! It’s also not sappy and sentimental like those other holidays. Halloween exists to scare you.

This is the spirit of Halloween

This is the spirit of Halloween

But sometimes it scares you for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes Halloween is scary because of the people who fail at it. Below is a compilation Halloween costumes that are actually for sale and make us afraid in the “lose faith in humanity” kind of way.

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J. Bryan Lowder has the Same Philosophy as Hannibal Lecter

As vegetarians who try very hard to be vegan most of the time, we feel a certain responsibility to be calm, rational representatives for those who eschew meat. Mostly this involves common-sense things like not glaring at people when they eat meat in front of us and not being demanding when over to other people’s house for meals.

But, we do expect some respect in return. Which is why this article from J. Bryan Lowder at Slate, entitled “Chicken Stock Doesn’t Count as Meat,” is so infuriating.

The author begins with a story:

My hand, grasping a ladle full of steaming amber liquid, froze in mid-air. […] oh God, the stock. He was talking about the stock. Vegetarians were at that moment speeding up the express subway track toward our home, and, despite my efforts to craft a menu that would appease them, I had just failed by using chicken stock in the mushroom risotto … or had I?

I flashed my chilliest Stepford smile at him as I gently stirred the liquid into the hissing pot. “You won’t say a word, will you, sweetie?”