Maid in Manhattan or Voldemort Falls in Love Ridiculously Fast

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SummaryMaid in Manhattan is the story of a working class, single mom falling in love with a rich senatorial candidate and being lifted out of her desperate situation. But first, she must dress up in fancy, stolen clothes and pretend to be a rich person. Oh, and there’s a dog.

VerdictRage and Frustration. Between JLo going along with this sure-to-fail ruse (while also being monumentally stupid about it at the same time) and Voldemort’s refusal to take the hint or take no for an answer, we were banging our heads against a wall by the end of this garbage.

Full Recap: In the first few minutes of this movie, we learn a lot about the main character, Marisa, played by Jennifer Lopez.  She’s a single mom with a son named Ty. She works as a maid in a fancy hotel. Her kid’s dad is absentee. She has crappy self-esteem, but she’s beloved among her coworkers and good at her job. Among her skills: wound bandaging, lavender placing, pantyhose buying, and grade A sass.

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OUAT in Wonderland 01×02: Angst, Exposition, and True Love(tm)

This week on Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, Alice is way more boring than she was in the premiere, the Knave gets hints of a tragic backstory, and Jafar would probably get along really well with Darth Vader.

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Dude loves to stand within arm’s reach and choke people with his mind.

To begin, the Knave is awakened to find Alice sword fighting a tree. Not a magical, sentient, evil tree, either. Just a regular, old tree. Turns out, she’s getting in some practice since she’s “rusty.” Apparently she put her thinking cap on during this practice too, because she has the brilliant idea of finding Cyrus’s bottle, having the Knave rub it, and therefore summoning Cyrus back from wherever he is.

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Hate Review: Avatar Part 1

James Cameron, Canadian film director and deep-sea explorer, has made boatloads of money off of his various films. His most successful, however, is the 3D “masterpiece” Avatar. A lot of people raved about this movie – it even won three Academy Awards – while we mostly found it boring.

Bored

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