Recently, A decided to try out online dating, and R naturally assisted her. The first site she joined (because it’s free, and A is not invested enough to pay for this shit) was OK Cupid.
Part of the shtick at OKC is that you answer questions about yourself, OKC compares your answers to other peoples’, and anyone you look at will then be shown as an X% match, X% friend, and X% enemy based on this.
A lot of the questions are pretty nondescript; for example, “What is your political leaning?” Others are understandable or necessary; “Would you be willing to sleep with someone on the first date?” Others, however, fit none of these categories. Instead, they are just pretty stupid, or, alternatively, fairly anger-inducing. But, we have to make something out of the stupid, so, we blog about them.
Summary: As expected from the title, this gem offers advice on how to deal with a variety of what are evidently stereotypical exes. The degree of horrible to which Cosmo’s advice descends is pretty dependent on the stereotype they choose to talk about, but it’s all pretty bad. Of note is the fact that Cosmo enjoys engaging in some totally healthy self-blame and simultaneously caveman-ifying the men by focusing on six ex stereotypes.
This week magazine Monday comes with two articles, but both are all about Cosmo’s amazing advice regarding love and sex. Having in the past offered such great advice as “spice up your sex life by having sex in a small boat” (capsizing anyone?), we were ready for Cosmo to be particularly entertaining in this area. And we weren’t disappointed.
We are READY for this.
Have Make-Up Sex Without the Fight
Author: Tracy Clark-Flory
Here, we have an article devoted entirely to advice on how to recreate what is evidently the unparalleled passion of make-up sex without the actual fighting part. Now, make-up sex can be pretty damn good and all, but I’m thinking it’s not the be all and end all of sexual escapades. Nevertheless, apparently it’s still deserving of some powerfully stupid suggestions.
Cosmo’s sex and love advice makes about as much sense as this non-sequitor.
As you might have been able to tell from our blog, we are female. As females, we occasionally have guys try pick up lines on us. Sadly, the vast majority of pick up lines are either delivered at inappropriate times or in an inappropriate way, which leads us to believe that a guide to picking up ladies, written by ladies, might be helpful. To spice this up a bit, we’re also including some actual anecdotes from our own experiences as examples of what NOT to do.
Who puts shoes on before pants? That is completely counterintuitive. Cosmo pg. 160, Photographed by Christophe Kutner, Annotations in red by R.
Magazine Monday won’t officially start until next Monday, October 28, but we thought we’d do a bit of a preview to make up for the lack of substantive posts so far this week. So, without further ado, here is a recap of Cosmo’s lovely article named “Man-thro-pol-o-gy.”