Dracula 1×03: “Goblin Merchant Men” is a Fan of Sex, Drugs, and Excessive Symbolism

We begin this episode with some slow motion beat down in Ye Olden Times during which Dracula the human is made into a vampire. During the process he sees a vision of Mina, and then some monks gleefully inform him he is a vampire now by pushing him into sunlight. Basically, the show would like to remind you Dracula and sunlight do not get along.

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This happy, friendly sun is Dracula’s worst nightmare and would receive a punch in the face from him.

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Dracula 01×02: “A Whiff of Sulfur” Replaces Action with Lots of Staring

If you were looking for more action out of Dracula, you’re going to have to save all your hopes for episode three, because this one is basically exposition and staring. Lots and lots of staring.

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Dracula 01×01: Sex, Murder, Drama, and Lots of Old White Guys

The British/American remake of Bram Stoker’s Dracula aired today on NBC and we think it’ll be pretty fun to watch, especially once we learn to tell the old white guys apart.

The show goes with a cold open of a mysterious archeologist slitting his greedy assistant’s throat in order to feed Dracula, who is buried beneath a tomb. Dracula greedily sucks down the blood (since, you know, vampire), and then he is suddenly in a bath surrounded by candles. There is absolutely no explanation for the quick change of setting, but we are assuming they are jumping ahead in time in order to get an unnecessary number of shots of Dracula (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) dressing for a party exceedingly slowly.

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This is not slowed down. This is the actual speed they had him emerge from the bath and dress.

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