OK Cupid Is Deeply Interested in Nuclear War

Recently, A decided to try out online dating, and R naturally assisted her. The first site she joined (because it’s free, and A is not invested enough to pay for this shit) was OK Cupid.

Part of the shtick at OKC is that you answer questions about yourself, OKC compares your answers to other peoples’, and anyone you look at will then be shown as an X% match, X% friend, and X% enemy based on this.

A lot of the questions are pretty nondescript; for example, “What is your political leaning?” Others are understandable or necessary; “Would you be willing to sleep with someone on the first date?” Others, however, fit none of these categories. Instead, they are just pretty stupid, or, alternatively, fairly anger-inducing. But, we have to make something out of the stupid, so, we blog about them.

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Now, without further ado, onto the stupid!

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How to Fail at Picking Up Girls (with Personal Anecdotes!)

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As you might have been able to tell from our blog, we are female.¬†As females, we occasionally have guys try pick up lines on us. Sadly, the vast majority of pick up lines are either delivered at inappropriate times or in an inappropriate way, which leads us to believe that a guide to picking up ladies, written by ladies, might be helpful. To spice this up a bit, we’re also including some actual anecdotes from our own experiences as examples of what NOT to do.

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When Sarcasm Attacks: A Message to the Writers of Jezebel

Dear Jezebel,

We love your site. We love the way you take down obnoxious people like this guy with mockery while at the same time articulating exactly what is wrong with their viewpoint. We love your sarcastic brand of humor which tempers the boiling rage that such people inspire. We like a lot of your other articles too, those that might discuss a slightly more serious problem or discuss issues many people might have.

But sometimes, you can be really fucking annoying.

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