After last week’s episode whose theme seemed to be “ghosts gonna ghost,” this week we turn back to the ongoing theme of “people always kill us.” With that, on to the recap!
Naturally we start with the most boring character of all. Freya is doing the world’s most pathetic backstroke in a pool with Killian. They flirt via witty banter. Dash shows up. Whatever, we are over this love triangle.
We are more interested when we go back to Ingrid in the library. Dash’s mother shows up with a photo of Ingrid in one of her past incarnations, which, understandably disconcerts Ingrid. Mother quite obviously knows something as she an Ingrid have a stilted and meaning-filled conversation about how past Ingrid looks “troubled.” Despite this, the witchy family, other than Ingrid, is blatantly unconcerned about this. However, Wendy and Joanna do have a secret conversation about avoiding telling Ingrid about her past incarnations. Intrigue!
Ingrid, being a research librarian, naturally goes straight to research the photograph and her past lives. However, she has evidently eaten an entire pan of special brownies meant to help her remember her past lives. Mostly, it seems to have made her SUPER high, but then she gets some flashbacks with accompanying orgasm sounds. And, bonus, actual orgasm party in the early 1900s. It seems past Ingrid was pretty heavily involved with Archibald Browning, the patriarch of Dash’s and Killian’s family. This whole scene is super odd; he paints her with blood and they sex it up as romantic music plays.
Evidently the other big story of the week is Dash and his associate trying to figure out how Maura has a weird mass in her throat. There is a lot of medical talk and reference to one other similar incident from 1995. Freya just wanders into the scene, because naturally she has free reign to wander into hospital labs. Naturally she steals the weird mass. Which turns out to be the branch of death that “if you touch it you die.” Of course, Freya has already touched it.
But don’t worry because Freya is inherently the greatest potion-brewer ever. Wendy gives her a pretty good pep talk, and then Freya gets to work brewing the death branch antidote. She brews it in public in the bar where she works despite the fact that it glows red. But I suppose this in public witchcraft is acceptable given that she has to get Dash and his colleague to drink a lot of it too. However, while they drink the antidote Freya and Dash argue and then decide they should elope. Which is clearly not going to happen, but nice thought guys.
Meanwhile, Ingrid is writhing on her bed lost in the past. Evidently no one really cares that she has been out of commission for hours; its already nighttime. Past Ingrid comes and bonds with Creepy Archie some more, this time over brewing a potion that turns an old woman young again. Of course, they’ll only turn her young for a large amount of money.Plus, she has to take place in “tonight’s ritual.” This whole turn me young seems like not the greatest idea perhaps.
After turning Formerly Old Woman, Creepy Archie and Past Ingrid sex it up some more while engaging in some post-coitus talk about spiriting Ingrid away from her family and marrying her. They also seem involved in some sort of Harry Potter-esque witchy cult of supremacy. So, that’s great.
Another great sign comes when Formerly Old Woman suddenly kicks it after coughing up blood. Naturally, they decide they should just get rid of the body and leave. After all, she was just “an inferior creature.” But before they can put their brilliant plan into action, her brother shows up at the manor yelling for his sister. Creepy Archie kills him via head twist as a gift to his future bride. Ingrid at least seems slightly shocked.
Back in the present we have Freya, the brothers, and the hospital colleague jumping in the pool for a midnight swim. Then, they all decide it would be super great to explore the creepy catacombs under the house. Great idea everyone! Unfortunately, this is mostly a way to let Freya and Killian talk, and then Freya and Dash talk. It’s the same boring, just a new environment.
But the boring doesn’t last long because we are back to the early 20th century. Ingrid is grabbing items from the witches’ apothecary while wearing a wedding dress. Wendy has more common sense and power of deduction than a rock, so she knows that Ingrid is running away to marry Archibald. She tries to convince her not to, but Ingrid is convinced that Creepy Archie loves her. This despite the fact that he keeps on promising to take her to a (nonexistent) place where no one can hurt their kind.
This all eventually ends with a big confrontation among Ingrid, Wendy, and Creepy Archie. Meanwhile, Archibald’s daughter Athena watches this whole thing. Creepy Archie has Wendy up against the wall and tries to get Ingrid to kill Wendy. Instead, Wendy tries to kill Archibald, and Ingrid jumps in front of the witchy bullet, ostensibly in an attempt to save Athena.
This leads to the breakup of the witchy family in the early 20th century. Joanna kills Archibald (in front of his daughter) and tells Wendy to leave. She doesn’t see Wendy for another century, and that little girl must win an award for child most scarred for life. Joanna evidently sends her away from town, and she evidently dies in the 1960s.
In the modern era, the show concludes as Freya and Dash decide not to elope, instead having a real wedding. This is followed by the creepiest hug ever between Freya and her future mother-in-law Penelope. There is clearly something going on with Penelope.
The episode ends with the revelation that Freya saw a whole field of death branches hanging in the catacombs under Dash’s manor. Of course, Dash needs to feel them all up.
And that’s the end folks. We think that Penelope is likely Athena, but any other guesses? Otherwise, tune in next week for more witches, and maybe more death branches that look more like death dust bunnies than death branches!