Douches After Dark

While it may seem at times that our neighbors spend all night on the balcony having loud discussions, this is not true! They do occasionally sleep. And today we have exclusive information on just HOW they like to sleep.

First, it’s got to be cold. They like the AC set at 69 in the summer and in the winter they just open all the windows. (Please note: it snows in the winter where we live).

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To combat the cold, our neighbors snuggle under a lot of blankets, preferably with a partner. But be warned, ladies, do not attempt to cuddle with them on the couch. The couch is sacred “me time.”

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Pictured above: what not to do.

When you move to the bed, though, here’s a tip to really woo our friendly neighborhood dudebros: let them be the little spoon! According to them, “I’m so used to being the big spoon that when someone makes me the little spoon I’m like GAME CHANGER!”

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